Wow. It's been about six months since I wrote a blog entry, the first and only one so far. Oh well, life gets in the way of things sometimes. In my previous post I mentioned that I would give detail to the name of the blog. First, though, I'd just like to give a brief background as to why I'm writing this silly thing.
Every Sunday, the Atheist and I have family dinner at my parents house. These past holidays my father must of been cleaning out the basement when we came across some high school essays of mine. The proud father lugged these upstairs before a said Sunday dinner, and acted as though we all of course would be interested in what was going on in my brain over ten years ago. Something happened though. I remembered that even though I didn't very much enjoy high school, I loved to write. And even though I'm scared to death that you'll think my thoughts and words are that of an uneducated sap, I've decided to continue something I used to enjoy...and put it on the web for public scrutiny. Hey, why not?
So the name. In the most basic terms, I'm a Christian, my husband is an Atheist, and sometimes we go to bars. But you probably already figured that out. I knew you were smart. But it wasn't always this way. When the Atheist and I started dating, we shared the same beliefs, and still when we got married. The Atheist used to be a Christian. A year ago Easter he changed his mind. Obviously there's more to it than that, but it's his story to tell, and I could never begin to fully describe his journey from point A to point B. What I can tell you is that my journey has not been an easy one. Grief, anger, denial, bitterness, acceptance, forgiveness. Grief over the loss of the shared values and ideas I thought we had. Anger, towards the Atheist for presumably not considering my feelings. Denial, that one's obvious. Bitterness, it just doesn't seem fair. Acceptance towards the things I can not change, though I have tried to surprise baptize him. Joking. Kind of. Forgiveness, yes towards him, but also for myself. Forgiveness for the guilt that maybe somehow I failed him, forgiveness for the previous unpleasant emotions I had towards him. I never expected life to deal me an easy hand, but somehow I believed that having the same faith would make our life together perfect. Hey, I'm still young. Over the past year I've learned what I, personally, and we, collectively, are made of.
I'm off to bed now, the Atheist is sleeping, and I'm pretty sure the clicking of the keys is making him grumpy. I promise it won't be another six months until you hear from me again. As my brother-in-law said, "writing one blog doesn't make you a blog writer."
