Being my first blog you're probably expecting me to explain the name, but I'll get to that next time. This entry is dedicated to the importance people put in commitment, and what they find valuable enough to commit to. I'll say this first: if you find something worth committing to, you should. Whether it be a relationship, a goal, a diet, if there is something that will enrich you're life in even a small way, you should dedicate your time and effort, and sometimes money, into doing what's worthwhile.
A little over four years ago, after fives years of dating John, we got married. We took the plunge. We got the ball and chain (literally, my grandmother got us hats with a ball and chain). After some time of getting to know each other, we made vows that through thick and thin we would work things out. It was a commitment that we did not take lightly, and a lot of hard work we entrusted each other with. A few months after the celebration, we went and "marked" ourselves with ring tattoos. We have traditional rings as well, but we were confident enough in our decision to spend our lives together to be cool enough to get some ink to commemorate the occasion.
Yesterday at the chocolate store I waited on an older woman who noticed my tattoo (this happens often). She was excited to see someone who had actually gotten a ring tattoo, as some of her girlfriends talked about getting it done. The common exchange ended a little awkward, for me anyways, when she said "you must of been sure."
Now, I know what they say about assuming, but I was convinced she meant that I must of been sure enough of my relationship to get a tattoo. This is quite bothersome to me. Her comment was innocent enough, and yeah, I was sure that I wanted to stay married. It got me thinking about how serious people take tattoos, and how less serious people take marriage. I agree that people who are dating probably shouldn't get their partner's name tattooed on their butt or anything like that. And if you take marriage lightly, then you shouldn't get a ring tattoo. Heck, if you want to get buried in a Jewish cemetery you can't have any tattoos at all. The point I'm trying to get to is is how often do you hear people saying to engaged couples, "Wow, you must really be sure"? Believe it or not, in the tattoo community (i don't really consider myself part of this community, I have one tiny tattoo), there are levels of respect depending on what kind of tattoo you have, where you place it, and the meaning. Yeah ladies, your cute little dolphin above your butt crack isn't called a "tramp stamp" for nothing. In comparison, there is hardly any respect for marriage left. And maybe fairly so. People go in thinking about the potential of their partner and leave when they refuse to change. The grass is always greener, someone has something that your partner doesn't, etc. But ink is for life. You nurture it: keep it out of the sun, keep your hands away from doing dishes, put lotion on it. A tattoo is something you've decided that you want to have for life, because it's really hard to get rid of if you change your mind.
I wish marriage still got the respect it deserves. Or even committed, long-term relationships. I believe it doesn't because a lot of people are less committed to the hard work a marriage takes then people who are committed to the art they put on their body.
